Over the last few days my thoughts and beliefs on forgiveness have been put to the test!

I have had reason, recently, to practice forgiveness…A LOT! I have been doing a good job of it, I think….. LOL
But GOD had other plans for me. HE felt, or so I thought, that it was time for me to go beyond the act of Forgiveness …” you have mastered that” I heard HIM say. Yes….I have learned to forgive like a champion! I guess it is like exercise…when it gets easy, it is time to kick it up a notch!
So…oh boy did He kick it up! LOL At one point yesterday all I could do is look up to the heavens and ask…”WHY??” Although…I was laughing..ya know laugh or cry! I choose to laugh…….. hysterically! LOL

Let me get to the point……

Forgiveness is an art. It takes time to refine your skills. Time…practice…dedication. I have done that and more.

God showed me that there may come a time, when you have to realize that forgiving and forgetting is not necessarily the end all answer. At least not when dealing with some people or situations. At some point, you may find yourself faced with a situation where a lot of anger and lies are involved. It may become necessary to confront a person. And do so with love not anger. Even when you are pretty sure the other person is going to fight you. I have mostly avoided these types of confrontations. If I had a situation that was tough, like dealing with people who are so unreasonable you knew there was a fight ahead,I would avoid it. Or just bury my head in forgiveness and hope it would go away.

***I am not talking about confrontations with people who are reasonable. People you can share a conversation with and get to the meat of a matter without terrible arguments. That’s easy confrontation!

I am talking about confronting a person who BOILS your blood!! Someone who, it seems, will never be reasonable!! Will always demand that you are wrong, demand apologies. Even when they may have just done you wrong. Yeah…people like that. That type of confrontation can be hard. Ah heck…IT IS hard!

In these types of confrontations our tendency is to react, usually in anger and then just “let it go away”. (And as I said…I usually avoid them and just let the situation die on its own.) Forgiveness in these situations will not..at some point….be enough! What God showed me today is that sometimes….you cannot just get angry and then sweep it under the rug to be forgotten!

That ugly nasty “thing” whatever it is, will rear its head over and over again until it is dealt with! And no amount of forgiveness will stop it! And no amount of burying your head in the sand will help! By burying our heads we are not doing any service to others or ourselves. How are they to understand how their actions affect others, if nobody is willing to talk to them in love, rather than anger. You know if you come at someone in anger or full of argument, the likelihood of them listening is almost zero! To do a service for others, we need to do it with love, so that they can have ears to hear. They may not hear it immediately, but there may come a time when they will reflect on your words. But only if delivered in love.

****Side note-some people will always see/hear your confrontation as being anger filled! They will not see your love. When they repeat the confrontation to others you will be the monster in the story! My hope is that someday they see what the truth is.

It has come time for me to realize that I have to put my big girl britches on and face what I do not like! The nasty confrontation….BUT I have to figure out how to make it NOT nasty! God told me “Girl…you need to learn how to confront, in the face of hatred, and do it with love” This is an art I am not skilled in.

So it is time for a lesson! And the first part of the lesson is that this will probably not end well. How will I end it? And end it with love and integrity? And accept the fact that my confrontation may mean the end to the relationship?

I was faced with a serious and unpleasant situation that I would really….really….. rather have swept under the rug. I didn’t even want to mention it, let alone forgive the person for it. I just wanted to pretend it never happened. That is when God told me that it was time to go outside the box. I had gotten comfortable with things and I needed to do something that I was not comfortable with. I needed to confront the person, even though what they had done was so wrong and made me so uncomfortable! I had a feeling they were not going to admit it and may even try to twist it around on me.

In the past I would feel that since this was going to end badly, why not just end it without the confrontation? No harm no foul…let it just be over;I mean we were headed there anyway! But God was not going to let me do that. He told me doing that would not be living up to who I am or who I want to be. I needed to have integrity and reach out to this person in a positive way; in a way that I would not care if anybody witnessed it. God guided me through the situation. I felt really good about it and felt good about not just sweeping it under the rug!

Here is the thing though…..just because you take that step out in faith to correct a situation, does not mean the other person will accept it. That can be a very deflating feeling! I mean…..heck I go to all the trouble of figuring out how to talk to them about this; and it ends up they say I did them wrong?! Or they just want to argue and fight the point.

It happens people!

Which leads me to the next part of the lesson……sometimes a friend can be bad for your health! LOL
It could be a family member too!

I talk about forgiveness. I believe in unconditional love. I believe the only way unconditional love can truly exist is to understand that at times….you may need to remove people from your lives and still love them. If not remove them, then change the status of your relationship, to protect yourself and your family. But do it with love and let the other person know it is being done with love. It is still love. You still love them…you just can’t be around them too much! If at all.

I believe at times,there are people who are so toxic to your life that you need to stop being around them. It is true, we need to forgive, forget and move on, with love. And sometimes agree to not be friends, for our own sake, as well as the sake of others. But always in love. In the name of God.

I did this today and learned it is possible to accomplish it with love. It is possible to do this and keep your integrity intact. I am still standing and still alive! Was it pleasant? No! Did the other person accept it with the love I offered? NO! I AM the monster in the story! I can only pray for clarity for all concerned. But I do feel a sense of accomplishment that I was able to stare meanness….straight in the face and not only NOT cave…. BUT do it with love!

Bottom line….Easy or hard, we still must forgive. Forgiveness is a very necessary element in our lives! BUT….Forgiveness is not a free pass to others to treat you as a doormat. We need to master the art of Forgiveness! And realize it is not one dimensional…. it is very, very deep!

You can’t please everyone all of the time! Be true to you. Act in the name of God, with love and truth in your heart and you will always do the right thing. I promise if you ask HIM to guide you through it…HE WILL! Matthew 21:22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
*Peace and Love ~ Christine

My prayer life these days is much different, I don’t know that I actually <em>ask </em>for anything in particular at least not in the way that I did when I was young. I mean I don’t <em>ask </em>God for anything….I do recognize that it is HIS will and all will be good no matter how it goes. I come to God with petitions for health and guidance…often…. I never <em>bargain</em> with Him….now I am pretty sure there was a time when I would have taken that course of prayer with Him.  I do not do that any longer. It has taken me years to get to a point where I am peaceful with the fact that<em> everything happens for a reason</em><strong>….. My biggest prayer today is that when the day comes that I am faced with my own personal tragedies, that I can remember everything I have learned about me..about God… and why we or I am here. That is my most earnest prayer!
Peace*

“Four Questions That Can Change Your Life……” that is what the book claimed…….

I am currently listening to an audio book by Byron Katie entitled “Loving What Is…..”  I have heard this book and author mentioned many times but never had the opportunity (meaning I never bothered to look up the book) to read it. This is recommended reading, as far as I am concerned, for anyone that struggles with issues of self defeating thoughts.

When I started listening to the introduction and heard the story of how Byron Katie herself had struggled with severe depression and heard her story, through her own words and in the case of the audio, in her own voice, when I listened it had me thinking….how terribly harsh it sounded. I admit that it was sad to listen to it. I would find it sad to hear anyone talk about how they, at times, could not get out of bed for days and that their children were afraid to walk past their bedroom door in fear of incurring their wrath! That is some serious depression. And then she goes on to explain how one day she woke up and was a totally different person. Her book is an instruction manual on how she did this and how you can do it to if you apply the four questions and the “turn around” to issues in your own life.

It sounds so simple and really it is…..but it is a bit of an aha moment when you hear it…..simple yes….. profound, yes.

In the audio you actually get to hear Katie talking to people who have issues and hear her walk them through the 4 steps and hear them as they realize the answer.

Katie has a website at  thework.org at this website you will find information on how to use the work as well as downloads of worksheets and videos about the Work.  There is a wealth of information at her website and all for free. At the website you can also read about her for profit program called Turnaround House. It is a very expensive ( $20,000…I think that is expensive) in house 28 day program that has apparently changed many lives.

A lot of, if not all of, the remaining parts of Katie’s program are free. The money raised from Turnaround House goes to support all of the other ventures…such as getting free copies of “Loving What Is…” in any non profit org that requests them.   Katie holds events all over the world about these 4 simple questions…and helps many people.

It appears that Katie does a lot to help others and much of her work is free.  I am impressed at the generosity she expresses….I have read stories of her even inviting people to Turnaround House on what I would guess is a scholarship or Grant.

I am not finished, actually only beginning the book and may want to post more once I am finished. I was just inspired to let others know about it based on the small amount of info I had read. If you are wanting to read an interesting book on self-awareness…growth….definitely in the realm of Psychology…….whatever you want to call it….may I recommend this one?

I reason with myself that I bought the book with the intention of going deeper ( there is that word again) into myself…so “deep” is a good thing and yet I just keep putting it off.

So I decided to crack it open today. 1/12/11

The first take away that I have is that when you are ready to read this book IT will be ready for you. Period! In my opinion it is not any more complicated than that.  Any other time that I have picked the book up and looked into its pages I have quickly grown glassy eyed and felt extremely tired….ready for a nap! Anything but to continue reading or attempting to read this book! I felt that I was just not evolved enough to absorb what the words on its pages were trying to divulge to me. Now though….. I do not think that’s  it at all, well at least not really. I think we are all perfectly capable of absorbing the wisdom that this course offers, but we may not necessarily be in a place within our personal journey to really understand it yet.   I am sure there are people out there that managed to get through the pages of this book and  years later read it again only to feel as though they never even saw the book before.  Me…well…I could not get past the obligatory glance to get down to any reading before wanting to gouge out my eyes!

But that all changed today! I picked it up and not only did the pages start to impart their wisdom to me but I found it oh so interesting! Gone are the “glassy eyed I want to take a nap” ( or gouge out my eyes) days of not understanding to a world opened up before me that is full of miracles!! It really is very interesting.

So I would say to you, if you have felt that this book was beyond your understanding…keep an open mind! You never know at what point you are going to be able to pick the book up and as Helen and William received their miracle ( of these writings) oh so many  years ago,  you too will receive your very own miracle and be able to understand the wisdom that this wonderful book is offering up to you!

So go….buy the book, set it on your night stand, glance at it from time to time and every once in a while crack it open…..read a few words…if you get glassy eyed and tired, by all means put it down and try again another time. Rest assured that when the time is right the book will be there for you…..so that you too may benefit from all the wisdom within its pages!

When the student is ready the teacher will appear~Buddhist Proverb

Wishing you and all those you love a happy 2011!

I have been on a journey for many years and the one thing that has been constant is happiness. I have had it here and there and sometimes it stays for many a days…but my sadness? It is always gone so fast. Even in the days of great sorrow I notice that I would inevitably try to go back to happiness. It is always there and always beckoning me to return. it is not a destination, it is not somewhere that we will “get to” once life is in perfect alignment for it to happen. No… It IS the journey it is now. If I want it and I do.

Peace

I have been attending a workshop recently that is all about “designing your life” ….it is thought provoking at worst and spiritually stimulating at best. I don’t think everyone attending would agree that it is a “spiritual” experience, I’m pretty sure it is different for each and every person in attendance…this is what it is for me. These days most everything is “spiritual” for me. I think, most of the time, that I am having a spiritual “crisis” and this workshop has brought that fact front and center in my life!

I started the class in Nov and have been on a roller coaster ever since.  It takes you within and asks the hard questions about life and goals! It can be hard for a person to get really honest and figure out what it is that they want from life and then WHY it is that they do not have it yet……AND what it is that is stopping them from achieving it. Hmmmmmm….oh boy!  No wonder I’m having a mini crisis! This is supposed to be helping  me……and I suppose in more ways than I know, at the moment, it is!

A curious thing has happened to me since beginning the course….I have hit a road block so huge that at times it seems insurmountable! WOW…ok..there I have put it out there into the universe for all to see! I have no idea why this is happening because I seem to be making progress on what it is that I want, which I have known for a long time now what that is….. but did not want to admit it, and I seem to be learning ways to achieve what it is that I want. So…why the road block!? Hmmmm that is a question for the ages!

So you may ask…what is my life purpose? Well…it is pretty simple really….I am most happy when I am encouraging myself and others to be all they can be! BE ALL YOU CAN BE!  Yup…that simple. I am an encourager and I’m not only good at it….. I LOVE IT!  So now that I know what it is that I LOVE to do…how do I proceed? What do I do with this info?  I DON’T KNOW. I think I am going to start writing about it and see where that leads me.

One thing I have always wanted to do is to write……I have all this creativity in me and no idea how to get it out. So…I am an encourager and I’m a writer ( I may not be a great writer but I am a writer nonetheless). These 2 things make me feel simply BLISSFUL!  WOW…there it is! BLISS…..I have been writing this blog for over 1 year….I have been up and down…..what is BLISS? How do we achieve BLISS? Is this BLISS? Is that BLISS? Oh my…I found my BLISS……and so it goes…on and on….Bliss here…Bliss there….a little, not alot, fleeting….but wonderful. Now I’m on to something that, if I continue, will bring me BLISS….not a little….not fleeting…but YES oh so wonderful!

I think I’m going to write and look for ways to encourage…encourage me…encourage you….encourage others….encourage the world.

Ok….here is my affirmation for today:

I am an encourager of myself and others….I encourage myself and others to be all they can be!

PEACE*