Over the last few days my thoughts and beliefs on forgiveness have been put to the test!

I have had reason, recently, to practice forgiveness…A LOT! I have been doing a good job of it, I think….. LOL
But GOD had other plans for me. HE felt, or so I thought, that it was time for me to go beyond the act of Forgiveness …” you have mastered that” I heard HIM say. Yes….I have learned to forgive like a champion! I guess it is like exercise…when it gets easy, it is time to kick it up a notch!
So…oh boy did He kick it up! LOL At one point yesterday all I could do is look up to the heavens and ask…”WHY??” Although…I was laughing..ya know laugh or cry! I choose to laugh…….. hysterically! LOL

Let me get to the point……

Forgiveness is an art. It takes time to refine your skills. Time…practice…dedication. I have done that and more.

God showed me that there may come a time, when you have to realize that forgiving and forgetting is not necessarily the end all answer. At least not when dealing with some people or situations. At some point, you may find yourself faced with a situation where a lot of anger and lies are involved. It may become necessary to confront a person. And do so with love not anger. Even when you are pretty sure the other person is going to fight you. I have mostly avoided these types of confrontations. If I had a situation that was tough, like dealing with people who are so unreasonable you knew there was a fight ahead,I would avoid it. Or just bury my head in forgiveness and hope it would go away.

***I am not talking about confrontations with people who are reasonable. People you can share a conversation with and get to the meat of a matter without terrible arguments. That’s easy confrontation!

I am talking about confronting a person who BOILS your blood!! Someone who, it seems, will never be reasonable!! Will always demand that you are wrong, demand apologies. Even when they may have just done you wrong. Yeah…people like that. That type of confrontation can be hard. Ah heck…IT IS hard!

In these types of confrontations our tendency is to react, usually in anger and then just “let it go away”. (And as I said…I usually avoid them and just let the situation die on its own.) Forgiveness in these situations will not..at some point….be enough! What God showed me today is that sometimes….you cannot just get angry and then sweep it under the rug to be forgotten!

That ugly nasty “thing” whatever it is, will rear its head over and over again until it is dealt with! And no amount of forgiveness will stop it! And no amount of burying your head in the sand will help! By burying our heads we are not doing any service to others or ourselves. How are they to understand how their actions affect others, if nobody is willing to talk to them in love, rather than anger. You know if you come at someone in anger or full of argument, the likelihood of them listening is almost zero! To do a service for others, we need to do it with love, so that they can have ears to hear. They may not hear it immediately, but there may come a time when they will reflect on your words. But only if delivered in love.

****Side note-some people will always see/hear your confrontation as being anger filled! They will not see your love. When they repeat the confrontation to others you will be the monster in the story! My hope is that someday they see what the truth is.

It has come time for me to realize that I have to put my big girl britches on and face what I do not like! The nasty confrontation….BUT I have to figure out how to make it NOT nasty! God told me “Girl…you need to learn how to confront, in the face of hatred, and do it with love” This is an art I am not skilled in.

So it is time for a lesson! And the first part of the lesson is that this will probably not end well. How will I end it? And end it with love and integrity? And accept the fact that my confrontation may mean the end to the relationship?

I was faced with a serious and unpleasant situation that I would really….really….. rather have swept under the rug. I didn’t even want to mention it, let alone forgive the person for it. I just wanted to pretend it never happened. That is when God told me that it was time to go outside the box. I had gotten comfortable with things and I needed to do something that I was not comfortable with. I needed to confront the person, even though what they had done was so wrong and made me so uncomfortable! I had a feeling they were not going to admit it and may even try to twist it around on me.

In the past I would feel that since this was going to end badly, why not just end it without the confrontation? No harm no foul…let it just be over;I mean we were headed there anyway! But God was not going to let me do that. He told me doing that would not be living up to who I am or who I want to be. I needed to have integrity and reach out to this person in a positive way; in a way that I would not care if anybody witnessed it. God guided me through the situation. I felt really good about it and felt good about not just sweeping it under the rug!

Here is the thing though…..just because you take that step out in faith to correct a situation, does not mean the other person will accept it. That can be a very deflating feeling! I mean…..heck I go to all the trouble of figuring out how to talk to them about this; and it ends up they say I did them wrong?! Or they just want to argue and fight the point.

It happens people!

Which leads me to the next part of the lesson……sometimes a friend can be bad for your health! LOL
It could be a family member too!

I talk about forgiveness. I believe in unconditional love. I believe the only way unconditional love can truly exist is to understand that at times….you may need to remove people from your lives and still love them. If not remove them, then change the status of your relationship, to protect yourself and your family. But do it with love and let the other person know it is being done with love. It is still love. You still love them…you just can’t be around them too much! If at all.

I believe at times,there are people who are so toxic to your life that you need to stop being around them. It is true, we need to forgive, forget and move on, with love. And sometimes agree to not be friends, for our own sake, as well as the sake of others. But always in love. In the name of God.

I did this today and learned it is possible to accomplish it with love. It is possible to do this and keep your integrity intact. I am still standing and still alive! Was it pleasant? No! Did the other person accept it with the love I offered? NO! I AM the monster in the story! I can only pray for clarity for all concerned. But I do feel a sense of accomplishment that I was able to stare meanness….straight in the face and not only NOT cave…. BUT do it with love!

Bottom line….Easy or hard, we still must forgive. Forgiveness is a very necessary element in our lives! BUT….Forgiveness is not a free pass to others to treat you as a doormat. We need to master the art of Forgiveness! And realize it is not one dimensional…. it is very, very deep!

You can’t please everyone all of the time! Be true to you. Act in the name of God, with love and truth in your heart and you will always do the right thing. I promise if you ask HIM to guide you through it…HE WILL! Matthew 21:22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
*Peace and Love ~ Christine

Do you pray? And if you do what does prayer mean to you? It seems as though some people feel about prayer kind of the way they do about Santa……. what can you bring me? I will be good if you give me this or that…. I don’t know, I am not trying to say that these people are bad for how they pray, after all prayer is a very personal thing. And I guess there was a time when my prayer life was like that too and I don’t think I was a bad person, but I do think that I had a lack of understanding! I also feel I did not have a deep and meaningful connection to God. I treated God as though he were this great Grandpa in the sky granting or <em>not granting</em> my wishes!

My prayer life these days is much different, I don’t know that I actually <em>ask </em>for anything in particular at least not in the way that I did when I was young. I mean I don’t <em>ask </em>God for anything….I do recognize that it is HIS will and all will be good no matter how it goes. I come to God with petitions for health and guidance…often…. I never <em>bargain</em> with Him….now I am pretty sure there was a time when I would have taken that course of prayer with Him.  I do not do that any longer. It has taken me years to get to a point where I am peaceful with the fact that<em> everything happens for a reason</em><strong>….. My biggest prayer today is that when the day comes that I am faced with my own personal tragedies, that I can remember everything I have learned about me..about God… and why we or I am here. That is my most earnest prayer!
Peace*

Recently I have been thinking a lot about finally opening up the book, A Course in Miracles. I bought this book a few months ago at Barnes and Noble, and it has sat on my night stand ever since. It is a bit daunting to look at, I mean when you crack it open and glance through, well the words are sooooooo deep and …ummm….deep……that you..or at least, I, just put it back down and move on to something that is easier to digest.

I reason with myself that I bought the book with the intention of going deeper ( there is that word again) into myself…so “deep” is a good thing and yet I just keep putting it off.

So I decided to crack it open today. 1/12/11

The first take away that I have is that when you are ready to read this book IT will be ready for you. Period! In my opinion it is not any more complicated than that.  Any other time that I have picked the book up and looked into its pages I have quickly grown glassy eyed and felt extremely tired….ready for a nap! Anything but to continue reading or attempting to read this book! I felt that I was just not evolved enough to absorb what the words on its pages were trying to divulge to me. Now though….. I do not think that’s  it at all, well at least not really. I think we are all perfectly capable of absorbing the wisdom that this course offers, but we may not necessarily be in a place within our personal journey to really understand it yet.   I am sure there are people out there that managed to get through the pages of this book and  years later read it again only to feel as though they never even saw the book before.  Me…well…I could not get past the obligatory glance to get down to any reading before wanting to gouge out my eyes!

But that all changed today! I picked it up and not only did the pages start to impart their wisdom to me but I found it oh so interesting! Gone are the “glassy eyed I want to take a nap” ( or gouge out my eyes) days of not understanding to a world opened up before me that is full of miracles!! It really is very interesting.

So I would say to you, if you have felt that this book was beyond your understanding…keep an open mind! You never know at what point you are going to be able to pick the book up and as Helen and William received their miracle ( of these writings) oh so many  years ago,  you too will receive your very own miracle and be able to understand the wisdom that this wonderful book is offering up to you!

So go….buy the book, set it on your night stand, glance at it from time to time and every once in a while crack it open…..read a few words…if you get glassy eyed and tired, by all means put it down and try again another time. Rest assured that when the time is right the book will be there for you…..so that you too may benefit from all the wisdom within its pages!

When the student is ready the teacher will appear~Buddhist Proverb

Wishing you and all those you love a happy 2011!

Enough said!

I finally get this….happiness is now. Happy in the moment…glad to be alive! We will always have difficulties but they are momentary blips in time. Move on..move forward and yes at times this will seem so simplistic as well as impossible but it always comes back to this…happiness is everlasting.

I have been on a journey for many years and the one thing that has been constant is happiness. I have had it here and there and sometimes it stays for many a days…but my sadness? It is always gone so fast. Even in the days of great sorrow I notice that I would inevitably try to go back to happiness. It is always there and always beckoning me to return. it is not a destination, it is not somewhere that we will “get to” once life is in perfect alignment for it to happen. No… It IS the journey it is now. If I want it and I do.

Peace

I met a lady yesterday…….a very lovely sweet mother of 2. Her youngest is still in school and her oldest is a daughter…. a daughter who married and bore her, her first grandchild. She is a single mom…there are many single parents in our country today. She has a story like and unlike many others. As I listened to her story I thought how many parents there are out there that have a story and are raising a family alone and so often without financial support from the other parent.

Her story goes something like yours or mine…..or your friends or acquaintance….

What makes her story different than mine? I don’t know if it makes it different than yours…but it does separate it from anything that I have had to deal with…

Her daughter…her one and only daughter who bore her, her first grandchild, also a girl…..her precious daughter was killed by a drunk driver. So now she has the distinct privilege ( insert sarcasm) of belonging to 2 different types of support groups. Single parent support and MADD support.

These are things that make me think…they make me go…hmmmmmmmmmmm….they make me thank God for my blessings and to say a prayer for single parents and ALL parents in the world touched by tragedy.

Today I have had messages from God and I did not even see it nor hear it until a few minutes ago.

So I was blogging about my non addiction to caffeine ( read previous post) where I made a play on words about “with Coffee” all things are possible…..ummmm yeah sounds like Matthew 19:26 but not…LOL so that is how I started my blog post which was primarily about whether caffeine and other mind altering or body altering chemicals can keep you from discerning Gods voice and direction for you.  After I was finished with my post I am sitting at my computer listening to Wayne Dyer and he says ” with God all things are possible”  I do not believe in coincidence…I believe in synchronicity. There is a difference.

coincidence – an event that might have been arranged although it was really accidental

synchronicity - the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated occurring together in a meaningful manner. To count as synchronicity, the events should be unlikely to occur together by chance.

The difference, at least the way I interpret it….is that with synchronicity apparently unrelated things come together….. ALL things are meant to be.…These occurrences are meaningful…not accidental.  Coincidence=insignificant…could have been arranged. synchronicity=meaningful…life changing….deep UNLIKELY TO OCCUR TOGETHER BY CHANCE!

I love when this happens, although I am always left wondering what? At this point I think I need to offer a prayer of “letting go” to God.  I will pray that HE shows me what it is that I need to know! And that I not only discern it but that it is for the highest good of ALL. And according to HIS will not mine.

Let go and let God!

Summer is over and so we move into Fall! I love this season, the leaves and weather changing and of course our annual treck to Florida is fast approaching, that is always fun! The Fall festivals, Pumpkin Patches, and Farmers markets, it is a great time of year. Do you love this time of year as much as I do?

Living an Organic life becomes quite fun this time of year with all of the fine produce at the farmers markets and at all of the festivals. The restaurants start getting beautiful medleys of fresh produce, but this is my first year living an organic life so I am wondering what the winter will bring in the way of fresh organically grown produce?

Taking walks out in the Fall weather is one of the best things about fall, after the hot summer that we have had here in Central Indiana the cool weather is a welcome break. Although I have to say that we have just entered into a bit of a heat wave the last few days yesterday it was 88 and a bit humid today the high is going to be 84 with a 40% chance of thunderstorms and tomorrow we are back up to 94!  After that it appears to go back down into the 70′s where it belongs for this time of year and I am happy about that!

As I said we are headed to Florida in a couple of weeks, Orlando to be exact….we are DVC owners ( Disney Vacation Club) and head that way 2-3 times a year. We also go down to St. Pete for a day and enjoy the ocean and see my mother in law! Nice that she lives close to the beach!  Visiting WDW and attending the parties are always a part of our Fall/Winter lives! We love it.  If you have never been to WDW at Halloween or Christmas I strongly urge you to take the time to do so…whether you like theme parks or not it is worth a shot…there is SO much to do that has nothing to do with theme parks, it is sad to not give it a try.

I have enjoyed the summer even with the lack of rain that we have had here in Indy…..I welcome the Fall season and am looking forward to visiting Florida as well as a few places around Indiana….like Nashville in Southern Indiana!

Here are a few pictures from Nashville and the surrounding Brown County Indiana!  Also a few from WDW in Oct!

Nashville Indiana Labor Day weekend 2010

Artists Colony Hotel and Restaurant in Nashville Indiana

The shops in Nashville are getting ready for halloween!

At the entrance to Magic Kingdom

Magic Kingdom is getting ready for Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party!